On July 28, 2020, Mattel introduced it would be releasing its seventh presidential Barbie. They have launched a single in practically just about every cycle since 1992, but of program, America has still to see Barbie in the Oval Office environment. But this year, for the very first time, Mattel gave her a campaign workforce. Prospect Barbie 2020 came with a marketing campaign manager, a fundraiser, and 1 (1) voter. There was renewed hope in the Barbie camp that this could be the year she won.

Flash forward to Nov. 4, 2020. In an alternate universe someplace, the 4 gals explore with NPR how Barbie lost the presidency yet again. Prospect Barbie and Marketing campaign Manager Barbie communicate from a resort lounge in downtown Miami, shortly right after the concession speech. Fundraiser Barbie talks through Zoom from her property in Connecticut. Voter Barbie talks from her kitchen in Suburbia, Usa.

How the campaign got started

Applicant BARBIE: [pours scotch] This was my seventh operate. And it’s the final, I swear to God.

FUNDRAISER: [stubs out cigarette] I signed onto that campaign in a heartbeat. I mean, feel about the fundraising possible — she’s BARBIE.

Campaign Manager: I imply, yeah, she’s shed around and over. And she was proposing a two-individual marketing campaign crew. How did she consider that would operate? But then, I thought…think about the title recognition that girl has. I signify, who would transform that down? Of program, I claimed indeed when she questioned me.

VOTER: Of training course, I was interested in her. She’s been at this so extensive. And so sensible and set-together and attained. She’s performed every position out there. Why would not I think about her?

Candidate BARBIE: I’ve been running for president given that before you media persons even took women candidates significantly. I’ve been distinct races, various ethnicities — I’ve experimented with to crack all types of obstacles. I have been running for president given that in advance of a good deal of those people bigtime politicians, of any gender or race, even received into politics.

[pause] Very well, Ok. Joe Biden ran ahead of I at any time did. But nevertheless.

How the marketing campaign functioned

Marketing campaign Manager: You’re extremely ideal that it truly is difficult to operate a campaign without having a celebration or positions. Any supplied speech was mainly 50 % an hour of platitudes.

Applicant BARBIE: Over and above “I am going to generate careers,” I stated absolutely nothing of material. But I have political sights! I swear I do! For instance- [campaign manager lunges at her, clamps hand over her mouth. Both fall to floor, wrestle for 30 seconds.]

Marketing campaign Manager: [gets up, dusts self off] Sweetie. Even now, you won’t be able to do that.

Candidate BARBIE: But I arrived with a piece of paper that could possibly be a system! I will have to consider anything!

Marketing campaign Supervisor: [pours a glass for each of them] Yeah, but it is really as well tiny to browse. For superior cause.

VOTER: Applicant Barbie seemed awesome sufficient. I guess I did want her to say a minimal far more about what she stood for, but not in an indignant way or nearly anything.

FUNDRAISER: [lights new cigarette, deep drag] Of [expletive] study course we took corporate cash. We’re manufactured by a massive multinational company. You imagine we’re gonna change that [expletive] down?

Campaign Manager: But very seriously, we could not say much too much about Barbie’s beliefs. Do you know how tricky Voter Barbie is to pin down? She’s a blank canvas! I necessarily mean, she’s not Protest Barbie or Conspiracy Theory Barbie. She’s “Voter Barbie.” How the hell do we sway her? Most effective to keep inoffensive.

VOTER: Fundraiser Barbie would call me at all several hours. At dinner. In the center of my kids’ soccer games.

FUNDRAISER BARBIE: See, we had that sweet Mattel income, but we required modest-greenback donations. I experienced to show Voter Barbie that Applicant Barbie has grassroots assist. So yeah, I pumped Voter Barbie for donations. A whole lot.

VOTER: Okay. I you should not have a lot of views, but Fundraiser Barbie wants to chill out.

FUNDRAISER: [stubs cigarette out on campaign button] I chill out the instant a voter hits her [expletive] $2,800 restrict.

On working with sexism

Candidate BARBIE: Shatter the glass ceiling? At this level? There is certainly about as considerably prospect as there is of a true female acquiring this figure. [motions to her own DD-cup breasts and 22-inch waist]

Campaign Supervisor: I’m so unwell of that joke.

VOTER: Applicant Barbie is not married. That’s bizarre, appropriate?

Applicant BARBIE: [draining scotch] Ok, I get it back. Girls can do something. I know this. Be sure to make positive to print that: “girls can do anything at all.” [glares] Make. Positive. You print that.

VOTER: I will be trustworthy: I just wasn’t a hundred p.c positive she was electable.

FUNDRAISER: [gestures with cigarette for emphasis] I was proud as hell to perform for a single lady, I’ll inform you that.

VOTER: You know what I indicate, ideal? I signify, I required to vote for her. But would any person else?

Campaign Manager: Oh. My. God. That “is she electable?” detail. Voter Barbie stated that exact same thing in each individual concentrate group. But, like…she is Literally THE ONLY VOTER.

FUNDRAISER: [unintelligible string of expletives]

Marketing campaign Supervisor: Basically THE ONLY VOTER.

On dropping… and probably offering up

FUNDRAISER: That gal labored so difficult. You gotta really feel a tiny poor for her.

Prospect BARBIE: Perhaps it’s time to toss in the towel. Finally let myself be me. Set on a number of lbs ., get surgical procedures to un-position my toes, produce a inform-all, finally have some thoughts.

Campaign Manager: You don’t imply that.

Applicant BARBIE: [leans forward] Ok, reporter girl. I’ll inform you my sights on abortion, but we have to go off the document.

Campaign Supervisor: [sighs, rubs forehead, pours four fingers of scotch] You really usually are not organizing on jogging yet again, are you?

FUNDRAISER: [casually puts cigarette out on tongue] Ohhh, I you should not feel I am receiving out of the activity. Like, yeah, I could get started a super PAC, but which is the coward’s way out. Probably I will influence one of the Bratz ladies to operate. They are not executing anything these times, I never imagine.

VOTER: Thank God they produced me with non-pointed toes. I had to stand there waiting around 5 hrs to vote. So yeah, that was an ordeal.

Campaign Manager: I stress all over again: she’s the ONLY VOTER.

VOTER: Yeah. 5 hrs I waited. Why do you check with?