If at any point you find yourself escalating into dark fantasies – this isolation will last forever, never touching or hugging anyone again – bring your attention back to the here and now. Find out what you can do today to give yourself a sense of control instead of seizing on a future scenario that may never happen.
Ms. Kwong recommends that you ask yourself what you need at the moment. If you want to get in touch, reach out to a loved one. Text a friend or family member and let them know that you are thinking of them. Check out other people on your mind.
Determine what is most important to you. Focus on making it happen.
Mrs. Kwong suggests choosing a sacred holiday item. For Thanksgiving, I might eat pumpkin pie. In December, it could be lighting candles, singing songs, decorating a tree, and eating latex and cider. Focus on this element and give it time, attention, and care.
You can also create completely new rituals. Maybe you seize this opportunity to create a new giving tradition or incorporate a new recipe into your holiday meal. Do what feels right for you. Ms. Kwong said, “There is no feeling of guilt or shame or of doing it right, because there is no one right way to do it.”
Take a social media break if you need it.
If social media posts make you feel warm, mysterious, and connected, move on. However, if you are feeling vulnerable, comparing your situation to someone else’s modified version of their life may trigger negative feelings. Remember that photos and videos may not tell the full story of someone else’s circumstances. Give yourself permission to steer clear of these platforms or at least organize your feed to reduce these types of posts if you find them confusing.
be nice. live in the moment.
Encouraged by Dr. Shamwai while chasing relatives and loved ones during the holidays Minimize any distractions until you are fully present. Hide your phone away, turn off the TV, and mute notifications – give your full attention to the people you talk to. He said, “The goal here is to build those memories, and to have the experience of full integration in a relational moment.”
Dr. Abrams said: Provide yourself with opportunities to create new memories that make you feel included and connected with the people in your life.
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